Understanding – A Forgotten Art

Original Date Written: Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 1:13am

        This note is for all those that are willing to understand other people and compromise with them (when necessary). Just looking at the young men and women of today, I can see that most of them do not know how to have a real conversation. A conversation can sometimes consist of being Question/Answer and allowing the conversation to flow from there. General interests are discussed about varying topics from music, art, clothing, family, even life situations (i.e. What if). This is how people learn to understand one another, how much the other person knows about his or herself, and how much you know about yourself. Conversations like these can be uncomfortable for some people as they realize they do not know who they are.

        From what I can see, most relationships today considering men and women of my age are based on the physical. Some men what to be seen with a particular girl, while some women want to be seen with a particular man. In turn, people get hurt, babies are born, and they have to live with those life decisions. All this can be avoided by actually talking and learning the person, you are involved with. I am not saying be lovely dovey and soft all day, but can I just understand your POV. I want to know the person I may be sticking my dick into if I am a guy, or allowing to come into me if I am a girl. It has not been looked at from this view, but it should be. How do you allow another person to have a piece of your spirit when you do not “know” him or her? Having unprotected sex with a person can have life-altering effects.

        Honestly, I believe that men and women who engage in relationships who heavily consider the physical are shallow and have nothing to offer. Again, this is my opinion. Men play the game because they do not want to be seen as soft, while women begin to play the game because they do not want to be hurt. Women who actually care have their hearts hardened by asshole men. In turn the good men who are out there have a harder time because they have to "soften" women up and show them that there are still good men in the world. Women do the same thing too. Women will damage men because they have been damaged which in turn created these cold hearted and lack of understanding relationships.

        You are not going to die if you have a conversation with a person about who they are or what they are interests are. A good relationship needs communication now only with the person you are with, but with yourself. I know who I am. I know what I want. Men and women who "Play the game" need to understand that talking is a vital part of being human. Communication is the key to everything in life. Miscommunication is the lack of understanding. There is no way that a man or woman should be with a person and not know their prior history of relationships or anything of that matter. These things need to be discussed. Why the relationship ended the way it did, what do you find attractive about a person and general interest.

I hope and pray that the people that read this take something back and can actually relate to what I am trying to say. If anyone can please refer them to this note.

The Understandings of Love

          When a person loves it may look as if they are crazy. Bending ass backwards, taking shit, and doing things out of the ordinary. Things like this is what makes love confusing, great, bananas, heartbreaking, and enjoyable. Some ppl love the struggle of love. Love has so many extremes that its hard to see that a person is in it. 2 ppl may always be at each others throat, but thats a reflection of their love. YOU may not understand it, but everyone is unique in their own right. What makes YOU the official definition dictator of words? Through my hardships of life I have come to understand that it's only my definition of what I believe that matters. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however you have to be able to hold your own and develop YOUR definition of love, self, know what it does to you and determine who you will allow to experience the love that you give out to the world. Everyone is carving out their own existence. Everyone has their personal view of the world. Your love will not be compatible will everyone. This is something that we all must learn to except. Understanding is what makes ppl grow, and learn. The lack of understanding only allows for ignorance to bloom in the hearts of ppl who don't want to know.


          My personal definition of love is: Caring about a person, wanting the best for them, and TRULY understanding the connection you share with that person. Not wishing harm unto them, and giving the level of commitment that is needed to maintain the relationship with that person.

         This isnt a definition for ppl who are in bf/gf relationships, but any relationship. I can say that I love my friends, and I care about their well being. I want great things for them now, and in the future. I want them to prevail over the struggles of life and become a better person from it. To realize their true potential is an understatement. However lol, this isn't about my definition of love rather the understandings of love and how ppl view it. Love is a variable; it's always changing because its something thats not confined to dimensions. It's a trait that all living things share, however expressed in manners in which the person or creature can only understand. THAT is what makes love everlasting and changing.

          Throughout my journey in life I can honestly say I found love 1 time. Other times I thought I was in love until I saw the difference in how hard I went for the other person. During my 21 yrs of living I have only been in love once. I have loved multiple women, but I have been in love 1 time. Still I think about the situation that I'm in and wonder "am I playing the role I'm supposed to?" "Is this how the story supposed to play out?" I can't deny how I felt before and how I feel now. Shit is still the same to me. I just put space between my emotions and tapping into them. Somewhere down the line life has in store for me the woman that I know that I'm supposed to be with. Until then i will continue to play the role that was given to me. Something has to give. In the mean time I will continue to be as productive as possible. I hope that everyone that reads this note takes something from it. I hope that this is food for your thoughts. What I speak isn't always correct in everyone's eyes and I want YOU to challenge me on my thoughts and opinions. I write because I have alot to say and I want what I keep in the back of my head to be heard. You are a great person. Wake up everyday and say that. Know that whatever situation you are in will change. Ppl make mistakes, but thats a part of being human. I slacked off for 7yrs. It's about time that I get up and become the man that I need to be. Not just for myself, but those I care about, and the future that I have decided I want to experience for myself.